Loving my Teenagers

No matter what is going on in my life. I make time for my teenagers. I no longer call them my babies or children. They are young adults. As long as I am prepared and getting ready for this journey into their future (I don't think I will ever be really ready) I will love them infinitely. Just as we go through different experiences, and are still learning from it all, our young adults will do the same.

What I am committed to doing for my young adults is to love them and support them throughout their lives. They know me though. I will have something to say if they go in the wrong direction, walk down the wrong path, follow some nipwits instead of leading themselves. Oh they will hear it! Why? Because I birthed, cared for, fed, clothed, supported, put up with, and loved them. I can and I will because I said so. 

Depending on my teenager again

Today I have so much end of the semester school work today. I started freaking out this morning because I worked on some school work after I got home from work but I took Tylenol allergy and sinus that put me on my neck. I really didn't think it would kick in that soon. I woke up this morning to my computer not on my bed but in the living room. I start to realize that I did not complete my class work for my English class. My test and my creative writing assignment. Creative writing was completed, all I had to do was copy and paste or browse my computer. What the! Low and behold, I can't cry over spilled milk. I don't want to leave this computer until all my schoolwork is completed and my teenagers understand.

My oldest daughter volunteered to take my other daughter to her job interview.  Thank God! I think the whole time I was there I would think about this blog and my tests and completing my Spanish ejercicios assignment, Voki 3 and examen 5. My short story for English is due Monday. Thank you Taje'! I'm sure when she comes back I'm going to owe her something. Laughing out loud!

Depending on my Teenager

My day today was like a Monday. I woke up late which in turn made me run late for work. Undoubtedly, I left my cellphone at home. I borrowed my coworker's phone to call my nineteen year old daughter. Now let me just say, she only has her  driving permit and doesn't have a car. What was the point of me calling her for help to get me my cellphone? I love my teenagers. It took me a long time to depend on them for anything. After all, they are teenagers! They are mouthy, not focused, inconsiderate, and selfish. But I love them. They are also communicative, independent and wonderful problem solvers.

The message I left on my daughter's phone was short and sporadic. The location of my job has a poor signal, no matter who your cellphone provider is. My daughter really didn't understand my message but when she tried to call my phone and realized it was in my room her problem solving skills kicked in. She called around to find a ride and she and my god daughter drove to my job (which is not around the corner). She talked to the guard at the gate, walked all the way to my location and brought me my phone. I was appreciative and thrilled. Now you may say heey, ok, whatever. I say Thank You! If you have or are in the vicinity of teenagers then you know most teenagers don't like to get up early in the day, are self absorbed and only like to do things for themselves. 

Even though I am grateful that my daughter brought me my cellphone. There was a catch to it. She walked away with my debit card claiming to need gas for my god daughter's car and the only reason she brought me the cellphone is so that she could randomly harass me throughout the day! Teenagers, gotta love em.

Fun

One thing that I have learned from being a parent is that even though you are the adult and have to teach manners, insist on respect, and let the teenagers know that when you are serious, you are serious: Having fun with your teenagers will make doing all of the above a walk in the park. I always incorporate fun in our daily lives. It is easy. From card games, board games, and karaoke, to learning to ride a ripstick. (or trying to learn at least)






From singing to rapping with the teenagers, it is a blast.  Of course I am the odd one that sings out of tune and dance off beat. No matter what though, fun is what we have.

Loving Your Teens

"Do not say harmful things. But say what people need—words that will help others become stronger." Ephesians 4:29

The most simplest way to love your teens is to treat your relationship with your teens like a bank account. If you withdraw love, you deposit it back in. If you keep withdrawing love from them, you will be mentally bankrupted. I always supported my three teens decisions, and gave them the power to choose. If it was the wrong choice or the right choice, it was in their power to chose it. It allow my teens to have a voice, and since I was new at this parenting thing, I only had fifteen years in  and I didn't let them know that I didn't know what I was doing. Sometimes I was wrong, and they challenged it, and if I was challenged upon my actions, I accepted it and apologized for it. Why? Because it built character! Yes, character. If the one person they knew could accept the responsibility and admit they are wrong, then my teens would do the same.

I always encouraged their dreams... rather it was football or ballet, I wanted them to know I supported them... but I never let them quit!!! No, no, no.! Just like a job in real life, I would not let them quit unless it had real justification. I used great meals and the dinner table to keep us together, a family that pray at the dinner table, break bread at the dinner table, find a way back home to the dinner table.

My teens made traditions for the holidays that they enjoyed. Sometimes we compromised on the holidays that I wanted to enjoy. I showed my teens how to have a charitable heart and give back to the community. Each summer they would choose a charity they wanted to support and they would have to volunteer and do something for them. On their birthdays, I would throw parties for them and give their guests presents. They didn't understand it at first, but it was ok when their friends thought they were the cool ones. Keep them humble and grounded. Let them know that the grass is greener on the other side, and the water bills are higher too. "Be the change you want this world to be" -Ghandi.

Be your teens positive influence. Teens almost always watch and learn from their parents. When my teens started driving, I left labels in their cars such as "Bunny put your keys in your purse before you get out of car and lock doors. Kaos, don't leave weed seeds in the ashtray I don't want you to lose your drivers license and go to jail. Do not drive on anything less than an half of tank if we have to evacuate the city we need gas. Do not speed in this car or you will start making your own $1200 a month car insurance payments by yourself." Most importantly, you can't pick and choose your teens, and they can't pick and choose their parents... but I always tell them how bless I am to have such a wonderful dysfunctional family.

They are my world and they know it. By the way... I was told several times that I was the coolest Mom ever... super brownie points for me, yay!!!

My Teens All Grown Up (21 Arisha, 24 Aris, 25 Airyck)

Teamwork

Even though I am the matriarch of my household there are times when I just can't do it all. I work full time, parent full time, attend school full time, and live life full time. I am a very organized person and just seeing one thing out of place, unbuttoned, unevenly folded, or not closed all the way will through me into an abyss of insanity.

Taking three summer classes and maintaining good grades is putting a strain on my household chores. (My bedroom is so cluttered I can hardly take it anymore) But, I don't plan on lifting a finger until June 22nd. Well my oldest daughter decided to wash my clothes, my middle daughter swept and mopped and my son keeps the sink clear of dishes. Mind you none of these are their regular chores.

Do you know how many times we have had conversations about "initiative"? My oh My! Teamwork will make a dream work.

Repetition

Today, when I arrived home from work, my teenagers were watching Batman The Dark Knight Rises. My children started watching these Batman movies Friday evening. I wonder why they are still watching them. I asked my oldest daughter "'No why are y'all watching all of these Batman movies?" "Why does there have to be a reason?" she asked. Then my son responded, "Because we love Batman." I am not going to complain. The whole weekend, every time I returned home it was clean, no crooked furniture or rugs, no dishes in the sink. But most importantly, no arguing, bickering, nor yelling. Thank heavens. If watching Batman movies over and over and over give these type of results. So be it. Batman for Life!