Loving Your Teens

"Do not say harmful things. But say what people need—words that will help others become stronger." Ephesians 4:29

The most simplest way to love your teens is to treat your relationship with your teens like a bank account. If you withdraw love, you deposit it back in. If you keep withdrawing love from them, you will be mentally bankrupted. I always supported my three teens decisions, and gave them the power to choose. If it was the wrong choice or the right choice, it was in their power to chose it. It allow my teens to have a voice, and since I was new at this parenting thing, I only had fifteen years in  and I didn't let them know that I didn't know what I was doing. Sometimes I was wrong, and they challenged it, and if I was challenged upon my actions, I accepted it and apologized for it. Why? Because it built character! Yes, character. If the one person they knew could accept the responsibility and admit they are wrong, then my teens would do the same.

I always encouraged their dreams... rather it was football or ballet, I wanted them to know I supported them... but I never let them quit!!! No, no, no.! Just like a job in real life, I would not let them quit unless it had real justification. I used great meals and the dinner table to keep us together, a family that pray at the dinner table, break bread at the dinner table, find a way back home to the dinner table.

My teens made traditions for the holidays that they enjoyed. Sometimes we compromised on the holidays that I wanted to enjoy. I showed my teens how to have a charitable heart and give back to the community. Each summer they would choose a charity they wanted to support and they would have to volunteer and do something for them. On their birthdays, I would throw parties for them and give their guests presents. They didn't understand it at first, but it was ok when their friends thought they were the cool ones. Keep them humble and grounded. Let them know that the grass is greener on the other side, and the water bills are higher too. "Be the change you want this world to be" -Ghandi.

Be your teens positive influence. Teens almost always watch and learn from their parents. When my teens started driving, I left labels in their cars such as "Bunny put your keys in your purse before you get out of car and lock doors. Kaos, don't leave weed seeds in the ashtray I don't want you to lose your drivers license and go to jail. Do not drive on anything less than an half of tank if we have to evacuate the city we need gas. Do not speed in this car or you will start making your own $1200 a month car insurance payments by yourself." Most importantly, you can't pick and choose your teens, and they can't pick and choose their parents... but I always tell them how bless I am to have such a wonderful dysfunctional family.

They are my world and they know it. By the way... I was told several times that I was the coolest Mom ever... super brownie points for me, yay!!!

My Teens All Grown Up (21 Arisha, 24 Aris, 25 Airyck)