Joy

Today  was my cousin JaVon's graduation from high school. It was wonderful. I really enjoyed myself. I hung out with my children and my children's teenage friends. What a splash. These teenagers today! Whew. The laughing and giggling girls. The boys posing with mean mugs and straight faces for their pictures.  I am proud to be the mother, aunt, cousin and Mrs. Jan of so many teenage children in my life. (at one time) I think I will miss these times. I do remember a time when I thought I might have to slam, slap, or sling a teenager. But I never did and thank God I never will have to. There will always be trying times and no relationship is perfect, but right now I am just enjoying the teenagers. I love it. I was so excited that I made my son and niece (both teenagers) a crab boil with crab legs, shrimp, corn, and potatoes.  If you know me, you know I do not like to cook but anything to extend such a joyous day!

Introducing my guest blogger Kora Sadler

Today my family came down from Ohio to celebrate my cousin JaVon's graduation from high school. JaVon is 18 years old and he is one of the teenager's that is very important to me in my life besides my own four children. My cousin Kora is just like me. Watching children enjoy life, learn from their mistakes and grow is very important to her. After all, our children are the future. My cousin Kora's advice on how to love your teenage child is this, "Just throw them in a bowl of glitter and let them shine!" I love my cousin. I would like to introduce you to my cousin Kora. She is my guest blogger. Look out for her post coming soon.

   

Commitment

I am committed to my teenagers.  We moved to Charlotte, North Carolina September of 2003. The elementary school years were wonderful.  My children went to Winding Springs Elementary. The middle schools were ok. Once my kids were in high school, I did not like the school system for various reasons; too many to list. Nevertheless, I took my kids out of the public school system and enrolled them in a distance learning school. I am committed to providing an education that may be different but it will be successful. Along with my commitment to their education they have to commit to their education and their own success as well.

Keeping it Real

As you all know, I am a parent of teenagers. It is my duty as the person who is here to protect and provide for them to have the right to speak to them the way I see fit. The way I do that is by keeping it real with them. I tell my teenagers to say no to sex, say no to drugs, say no to boys and say no to girls! None of the above is good for you at this time in your lives. Think before you act or react. Watch your surroundings. You don't have friends all you have is family.


Some people may not agree how I speak to my teenagers... But I just keep it real!

Trust

My 19 year old daughter and 15 year old son are in a distance learning program. They attend school from home. Their high school years are totally different than the average child that is communicating to a school by bus or by parent. I have to trust my children when I ask them to do their house work as well as their schoolwork.

I have to trust my teenagers to not touch my air conditioning or heat (thermostat). I have to trust my teenagers not to have people in my house and not to eat all the food. I have to trust that my teenagers are spending time actually doing schoolwork and not sleeping, playing video games, running the streets, or surfing the web.


So far so good!

The environment

Sometimes I forget that the world my children live in is not only them and me. There are other people and opportunities that exist for my children to learn from.  Children gain knowledge, information, attitudes, and actions from anyone they meet or see. That brings me to my next point. I am not my teenagers only teacher. No matter how much I wish I was their only teacher. My teenagers seem to follow everyone else's lead except mine.

I clean, I clean again, and I clean some more.
I work consistently. Usually more than one job.
I use patience, kind words, and gentle touches.


My teenagers are at the age where they should be able to use initiative and make good choices. I model those things all the time.  Then here we go, my oldest asks for the remote control with attitude and harsh tones, no please. My youngest son can't talk to his 19 year old sister without touching her some type of way, no matter how many times she yells "don't touch me!"

Patience

June 7, 2015
Today was a day of rest and a day full schoolwork. Yesterday was a hectic day for me. My oldest daughter, 20 years old, thought it was okay to harass me about using my car. All day long she asked the exact same question as if she didn't hear the answer the first 10 times.  I stayed patient with my answer and stern with my decision. No matter how many times she asked me the answer was still no.

I did tell her that if she was asking to use my car to go to work that I wouldn't have a problem with allowing her to use it. Hanging out with friends in my car is not the purpose of my car. When she gets another car for herself she can do whatever she wants with it. I had no choice but to remain patient and calm with her overbearing nagging and "you owe me" attitude. I have to pick my battles and right now the battle is with three summer courses that I am taking.

When my daughter graduated from high school, I bought her a car of her own. It was a used car but it was a good running car. I figured after a year of solid employment and a few semesters of college she could have traded it in for an inexpensive upgrade. But, the girl went and traded it in for a car she couldn't afford after owning the used car approximately two weeks. Mind you, she didn't have a job, she couldn't afford the car payments nor the car insurance premium that had risen.

Patience is a word that any parent with a teenager will have to learn.

Parents
Allowing
Their
Individual
Egotistical
Naive
Children 2 make choices for
Eternity